Morning Routines do not work for everybody
Imagine waking up on time or earlier, where you have the opportunity to take some time to work out, journal, use the French press you love so much, sit on a cozy couch and read without getting disturbed, and take a shower without having to rush... It all sounds lovely, right?
Everybody talks about routines and habits and how they can help you be more successful and start your day right. But what happens when your brain doesn't get along with structure, routines, or habits? What are we supposed to do then?
What are Routines anyway?
First, let's start with the meaning of routines. They are structured actions that need to be done at a particular time, repeatedly and are followed to solve a problem/s. Routines can help you create order in a chaotic or messy life.
I thought routines and habits were the same...
To be honest, I thought so too. It might have been the foreigner in me that thought habits and routines were the same. Oh well...
Now that we know that is NOT how it works, let me tell you the difference between them.
Routines help you create a habit. They are tasks that are completed daily in the same order. They can feel boring because you know they are something you feel obligated to do. For some people, routines can be extremely efficient, but for others like me who do not find them motivating - which is why we CAN'T be consistent with them.
A habit is a behavior that you acquire while following a consistent pattern of activities that become almost involuntary. A habit is something that becomes second nature to you. It takes a while to create a habit or routine, but once you get it, you are good to go!
Many habit professionals say it takes 21 days to form a habit, but according to James Clear, the author of Atomic Habits, the average time to form a new behavior is 66 days.
We all function differently, so whether we want to have a repetitive day with all these habits and routines can take 21 days to 365 days. The eagerness, motivation, and drive to stay consistent is up to you.
Now that we know the difference between routines and habits, there is one more thing that kept popping up in my research; Rituals.
Wait, there's more?
Yes! Rituals are very similar to routines. They are also completed in order, but they are more meaningful. They are made with intention. Rituals come from the heart. They are activities that you enjoy doing and that fulfill your heart and soul. Rituals come with a purpose, and when achieved, they fill you with good vibes. Rituals are more emotional-based rather than forceful efforts like a habit or routine.
Rituals are the feel-good hormones best friend.
My opinion is that habits and routines are for people who like to be regimented while also feeling accomplished. People who read the instructions when putting something together. Hello, Virgos I'm talking to you!!
Rituals are a bit more "woo-woo". They are targeted towards feelings, vibes, and emotions. Things will get done based on how we are feeling that day. Raise your hand if you are Pisces!!!
Every time I tell myself that I will start a routine, it lasts about a week or two, and then I'm done. My brain can't handle structure. I know what needs to be done, but my brain needs to do it at its own pace. If not, I end up having a short circuit.
Many of us were not made for structure and rules. Instead, we choose to go with the flow and listen to our body and how it feels. That is why every time we try, we get tangled up figuring out what needs to get done, how to do it, at what time, etc. For us, the non-routiners, we need to get creative and create ways that will help get shit done without getting bored or discouraged.
Keep in mind that we all work differently. Our brains and energy need different methods of motivation and inspiration. Hopefully, the suggestions below will help you find some type of not strict practice to get shit done.
Listen to your body
““Listen to your body it is always communicating with you””
How does your body feel every morning? Is it always the same? Is it achy, tired, heavy, bloated, or does it feel ready to conquer the world?
These are questions you should ask your body, aka yourself, to figure out what YOU are capable of doing based on how your body feels.
For example, I enjoy waking up early in the morning. It helps me be productive because I have more time to do stuff, even when "that stuff" is cuddling with my pups.
When I was single, getting up at 5 am was amazing and easy. Femi (the queen of the house) and I got to see the sunrise, go for a walk by the water, and get breakfast.
Now, I am married and have 4 dogs. We are staying at my parents' house while ours is being remodeled, and we are not close to the beach anymore. I know that sounds a little spoiled because that is just the excuse I am using to not go out for a walk, but Biologist Dr. Wallace J. Nichols, author of the book Blue Mind, explains how living near water can increase the overall mental health of a person. It can even bring happiness into somebody's life, which also motivates them to have a better workout and day.
Now, I am married and have 4 dogs. We are staying at my parents' house while ours is being remodeled, and we are not close to the beach anymore. I know that sounds a little spoiled because that is just the excuse I am using to not go out for a walk, but Biologist Dr. Wallace J. Nichols, author of the book Blue Mind, explains how living near water can increase the overall mental health of a person. It can even bring happiness into somebody's life, which also motivates them to have a better workout and day.
I am sharing these examples because as much as I enjoy mornings, my body is not always eager to wake up super early. That is why I chose to start my morning differently and in a way that will make me and my body feel good.
Try it out and test it, go with the flow, and see how your body feels. Based on that, you can plan and organize your day by what feels right.
Give it a try just so you can figure out what works best for you.
Remember:
Forcing yourself to do something takes the fun away from whatever you had planned. I dare you to try something different and listen to what your body is in the mood for.
By listening to your body, you can also pay attention to your energy. Base how you work on the ebbs and flows of how you feel. I recommend that you try the Intuitive Planner from Her Messy Bun. It might help you understand how you function better and what to do when your energy fluctuates but you still want to be productive.
Did anybody say Feel-Good Hormones?
Yes! The goal of creating a practice during the day that will help you feel satisfied, productive, and happy is why I am bringing up happiness hormones.
To start, 4 types of hormones are known for their specific “job”
Dopamine, the "Reward Chemical"
Oxytocin, the "Love Hormone"
Serotonin, the "Mood Stabilizer"
Endorphin, the "Pain Killer"
All of these hormones get triggered by different activities. That is when listening to your body and understanding what works for YOU to have a great day comes into play.
We all want to feel good, especially when we wake up. We want to be able to conquer the world and achieve all the plans and goals we have planned or not. Either way, the best way to create a ritual to have a successful day is to learn what triggers each one of these hormones.
For example, if you are as bad as I am with habits, routines, structure, and monotony, then you might want an extra boost of Dopamine in the morning.
For me, making the bed in the morning gives me a boost of Dopamine (completing a task can produce Dopamine) and Serotonin (stabilizes your mood) because I accomplished something extremely easy, and it makes me feel more relaxed by starting the day with a somewhat organized room.
I have included a Feel Good Hormone Chart where you can pick some ideas that could become rituals that will help you throughout the day.
Keep it simple
One of the reasons people dislike routines and habits is because they can get so complicated. Habits have a regimented schedule where you HAVE TO do tasks at specific times. You need a cue and a reward to trigger what needs to be done.
For us, the complete opposite of the above, we prefer simple, easy, and gratifying. That's why I recommend keeping it easy and simple. If you are going to go by emotions, energy, and rituals, then take a look at what needs to get done, listen to your gut, pay attention to how you are feeling, and which of the piles of stuff that needs to get done is calling your name. Go by what feels right at that moment, and organically you will create motivation that will drive you to get shit done.
The point of this blog is to give you permission (not that you need it) to experiment, go crazy, and have fun while you find what works for you.
If you are reading this, you know that habits are not your jam, so take some time to analyze what has been working or not, and what new ideas you can come up with.
See your failed attempts of finding the right practice to get shit done as trials and errors that will help you become that amazing Badass you want to be, all by doing what is right for you.
Remember, we are human, imperfect, and messy. Not everything is going to work out the way we would like. So why suffer and be hard on ourselves when the reality is that all those fun experiments are helping you learn more about yourself and the ways you function to succeed?
Experiment, go crazy, and have FUN!
While you are trying to figure out what works for you. Try these Morning Tips to have a Great Day.
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