It’s finally OVER - Post Wedding Relief

I was never one of those girls who dreamt about her wedding. I actually thought I would never get married, and here I am, getting married for the second time.

My first wedding was planned in a week. We had 25 people, the ceremony was at my in-laws', and it was super cute. After the divorce, I was sure to be DONE with marriage, but we never know what the universe has planned.

Ten years later, after my divorce, here I am coming back from Vegas, where we got married TWICE! Absolutely exhausted, ready to be completely anti-social, stay away from booze and alcohol, and start a detox to get rid of everything from Vegas.

This wedding was so stressful from the beginning. I should have seen the signs of what the universe was trying to tell me. I wanted to elope and just make it very intimate, but since it was Stan's first marriage, I figured he could be the bride this time LOL.

We both blame each other for the reason why we ended up with a micro wedding (under 50 people). I guess deep down I wanted a bigger wedding than the previous one, with all the bells and whistles but with my vibe. I was wrong…

What does "my vibe" mean?

I wanted dark, goth, emo, death, 'til death themed with some cute touches. I had a few people who did not agree with my vision, but the people who really knew me knew that I would be miserable if things weren't the way I envisioned them.

Now that we have chosen Las Vegas as our destination wedding, it was time to plan the decor. Skulls were a must-have. They were so fun to make, and it was a good opportunity to hang with Mom while making them. (Check out my Skull Centerpiece DIY post.)

I was 1000% sure that a church was not an option, so we looked for something different, something that was OUR vibe. In our search, we found the Neon Museum. It was love at first sight. It brought Stan's love for Vegas and my love for museums and art together. This museum was the perfect combination of old and new Vegas, especially at night when the signs came back to life.

This museum brings an unexpected nostalgia with a touch of fun. This place is definitely for couples who want to add some edge to their wedding. Make sure to wear comfortable shoes. I wore these platform shoes with chunky heels, and they worked perfectly.

I honestly thought we were keeping it somewhat simple. We invited 65-70 people, and 39 joined us for the whole shindig. The reception was at the Golden Nugget (Stan's Favorite Casino), and the decoration was minimal. No matter what, we still had to entertain people since they were going to Vegas for a few days to celebrate us.

The day before the wedding and the day of the wedding was a roller coaster of emotions, not in a good way. To be honest, by the time the photographer came to take getting-ready pictures, I was over the whole thing. I think a couple of friends were ready for me if I was going to pull a runaway bride.

Yes, that's how bad it was, and that is why I am so happy that it's OVER.

With that said, I want to share a few things I learned from planning our wedding, some advice, and why I wouldn't do it again.

• EVERYBODY HAS AN OPINION

  If you decide to involve friends and family in the planning, be prepared to deal with a lot of opinions, suggestions, and being told about the things you "have to do" because of traditions, pictures being forever, and whatever else they can think of.

  Everybody wants to help because they are so happy and excited for you. If you are like me and want to please everybody, you are going to get lost in other people's needs and wants and forget about yours.

  • ADVICE

    • Be grateful. Like I said, people who love you are excited for you and the big day. Make sure to listen to their opinions and say thank you. Who knows, maybe somebody will come up with something you like.

    • Make sure that you speak up and tell everybody your non-negotiables. These are things that you are NOT willing to drop, and you better put your foot down on them

  • NEVER AGAIN

    • This is a huge day for you as a couple, so keep it like that. I know that parents, especially moms get really excited about weddings, but if you didn’t ask for advice, don’t receive unsolicited suggestions. They may be well intended but you didn’t ask for them so don’t have to do it nor please anybody for them to be happy. This is NOT their wedding, it is YOURS.

    • Keep it simple - Keep it to yourself - Keep it your way

• SOMETHING WILL GO WRONG

  You have been planning for a year the wedding of your dreams. You think everything will be perfect, but let me tell you it won't be. In our case, I can't count all the things that went wrong, and in the end, they didn't matter.

  • ADVICE

    • Throw all your expectations into the trash. Whether the whole wedding goes wrong or just one thing, remember this celebration is for you. Your guests are there for you and to celebrate, so go and have fun.

    • If something goes wrong, you might be the only one who notices it, so just LET IT GO. Yes, it is easier said than done, but you will get over it. I promise.

  • NEVER AGAIN

    • Every party has its issues. Next wedding/party make sure to have fun, and lower expectations.

    • You can’t control everything

    • Don’t let this ruin your mood or celebration, instead blow it off, laugh, and have a blast

• YOU COME FIRST

  The whole idea of planning a wedding is to celebrate the commitment you are making with your partner to be together, but the reality is that it is a party for everybody else. If you are an empath and people-pleaser like me, you forget about your needs and wants and make sure everybody is okay and having fun when you should be the one having the time of your life.

  • ADVICE

    • Since we had a destination wedding, my main concern was entertaining everybody, making our guests happy, having fun, and making sure we spent time with all of them. Making the wedding about everybody else definitely didn't allow me to enjoy my own party. That is why you have to make sure to delegate people in your wedding party to take care of stuff; that way, you can have fun. Bride and groom come first. Make sure to eat, stay hydrated, and do all the things that are important to you. For example, I purposely ordered crème brûlée as one of our desserts and didn't have any. We had a photo booth and didn't get one picture with Stan because I was preoccupied with our guests and making sure I talked to everybody.

    • Keep in mind your guests are there to party, so they will have fun no matter what. Take care of yourself and your partner, and let the rest go. Plus, people won't even realize the things that went wrong. Unless you have a lame DJ like we did.

  • NEVER AGAIN

    • Will I plan a a party that it is for me, thinking about others,

    • I am not saying to be completely selfish, but prioritize your needs and wants, then everybody elses’s

I can talk about all the things I would have changed for days... All I can say is stop worrying so much. You literally are stressing about a party that will last a few hours, and most of the details you care about the most, your guests won't even notice.

If you are like me and don't really care about a wedding ceremony and reception, I recommend that you elope. Take that opportunity to keep it intimate, make it yours, and then have a party with everybody where things are less glamorous, you don't have to be concerned about everybody else, and you have a good time.

Listen to your gut and do what feels right; this is your moment, your day, your party. SO do what you want!

In the end, we ended up getting married twice. We got our intimate wedding at the Little Neon Wedding Chapel, I dressed the way I wanted, and we kept it simple. I am extremely glad this is over. Now that the weight of wedding planning is off my shoulders, I can go back to focusing on the things that make me happy, and you should do the same thing.

Enjoy your wedding, try not to stress, just have fun.

Disclaimer: These are products that I love, wear, use, or are on my shopping list. They will help you as much as they have helped me in the journey of becoming a Badass.

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